There are very few things in life that I feel qualified to openly critique. I am fashion clueless, I love films other people hate, my music taste are too diverse to qualify me as an expert in anything. I think to be a critic, you need to KNOW what you're critiquing. You need to know what else is on the market, in order to draw a fair comparison.
But Nestle have just launched their four new Kit Kat Chunky flavours - and if there's one thing I know, it's chocolate.
I am still mourning the loss of Nestle Secret bars from the 1990s, and since then have been relentlessly seeking a replacement for the chocolate bar shaped hole in my heart. Could one of the new Kit Kat Chunky range be it?!
So, let the taste testing begin. In the interest of non-gender specific testing, my boyfriend has kindly volunteered to join me in the testing. My hypothesis is that the hazelnut will be the ruling class, mimicking the Kinder Bueno in a balance of chocolate nuttiness. Boyfriend thinks choc-fudge will be the victor. (I am starting to think I have chosen my lab partner incorrectly. Choc-fudge is far too predictable to really be a contender, surely?)
1. Attractive packaging. I like the palm leaves which give an exotic feel.
2. Definite coconutty-whiff on opening the packet. ('Good' according to Lab partner.)
3. Looks just like a KitKat Chunky.
4. Coconut flavour is subtle, but distinct. Good aftertaste. Satisfying. Makes me want another KitKat. (Although to be fair, I usually feel that way after a KitKat.)
5. Calories - 246
Overall - It's nicer than a Bounty, but I think a dark chocolate covering would have pushed this into the high 8s.
1. Packaging - Boring. In fact what I assume is the pile of fudge, at a distance looks a bit like poo.
2. Very fudgy smell - too sickly!
3. Clearly visible fudge layer, nice contrast with pale wafer.
4. Strong fudge taste, over powers the chocolate
5. Calories - 256
Overall - No, no no. Did they learn nothing from the mistakes of a Cadbury Fudge? Bleurgh. A last resort chocolate bar.
1. Packaging - We can find nothing to say about this.
2. Very subtle nut scent - hardly noticeable.
3. Taste - disappointing. (Boyfriend: 'It's like someone's thrown up in that bar.') Too sweet. Totally eclipsed by a Bueno.
4. Calories - 260 (The highest scoring of the new KitKat bunch.)
Overall: The Bueno is a KING of chocolate bars. Ferrerro Rocher has set a high standard in hazelnut and chocolate confectionary. You need to have something special if you're going to try and usurp those thrones, and this is a massive disappointment. Shame on you Nestle.
1. Good packaging - stands out, clearly Mint, or Pea flavoured. A savvy shopper would know which.
2. Good peppermint scent.
3. Inside, looks like a KitKat Chunky.
4. Good flavour, but predictable. Not surprising.
5. Calories - 246
Overall: Yeah it's nice, but it's not really challenging any boundaries is it? Mint Kitkats exist already, so this feels like a bit of a cheat.
So the winner is: COCONUT KITKAT CHUNKY!!! (And it's one of the lowest calorie options - Yippee!)
Congratulations Coconut one, you should be very proud. But I'm afraid Peanut Butter KitKat Chunky is still the KitKat Chunky of choice in this household.